My Principles
Honesty.... This doesn't mean just being an honest person - it means being honest with you. Some will tell you anything you want to hear. I believe that not only is it dishonest, but it is a huge disservice. Divorce is a time where your life is being redefined. Old behaviors and beliefs may not have been working, and changes should be made. Hearing the hard truth can be difficult, but you can't benefit from hearing the old lies. It may be uncomfortable but I am going to share with you what I see.
Compassionate .... Truthful doesn't mean hurtful. Though a separation or divorce can be the most stressful and painful event in anyone's life, I believe that with help and support you can navigate the separation and divorce process successfully. Divorce mediation is not a business negotiation. Divorce mediation is an emotional and developmental process - nothing like a business transaction. Compassion requires taking the time to understand not only what you want, but how you feel, how you got here, and where will you end up. I believe in taking that time to allow you to be completely understood and accept how you feel..
e-mail: john@CoParent.info
4024 North Woodstock Street
Arlington Virginia 22207
703-241-1243
Results .... Some mediators worry more about the "process" than they do about he results. Of course process is important because it protects valuable components, such as confidentiality and self-determination, but it should not be the "tail that wags the dog". I believe, in divorce mediation, 'results' is the most important objective. Unlike any other type of mediation, failure is not an option, especially if children are involved. The spousal relationship existing now, and the relationship in the future with your "ex", depends on finding and implementing a successful settlement.
Value .... Mediation and Parenting Coordination should be services that provide value. They should not be just a" running time clock". It is my belief that if the client doesn't find value in the services I provide, then I am not doing all of my job for that parent and they should not have to pay for it. By the end of every session we explore whether they are receiving value and benefiting from our work. If not, then I don't ask them to pay. I maintain that it is not a matter of just putting in "the time", but rather producing results. Anyone can"put in the time", but it takes professional dedication, skill, competence and belief in myself to bring fruit to the process.